Oshou-sama vs. the Sailor Senshi
by nylarkthewiseson
Summary: My steroid-dependent Master faces the warriors of the celestial beings...


heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh......  
This is a story about my Master, Oshou-sama. All characters belong to their respective owners, of course, and Oshou-sama belongs to herself and the gangsters at the Chinatown Fair. ^_^x heh heh heh....  
  
  
The Sailor Senshi stood around the woman as she laughed histerically. As Sailor Moon and Sailor Chibi Moon held Tuxedo Mask in fear, the other senshi tried to discover who the new enemy was.  
Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune were getting angry. As Sailor Uranus ran towards the skater-clothing-wearing-Oshou-sama, the dark-haired Chinese girl spun, red eyes glittering with evil. She darted forward, with speed to rival even light, and snatched the Space Sword from the Senshi's hands, booting the woman across the planet and into the sky, where she shimmered and vanished with a little "ding." As the Senshi gasped in surprise and fear, Oshou-sama frowned, holding the Space Sword with two fingers. "I don't like people like YOU..." she said, inspecting the jewel-encrusted handle. "I don't go that way!" She finished the comment with a round of insane laughter. Then she stopped, suddenly. "Hey! These are real! If I sell this, I can buy more bootleg!" An evil grin appeared on her face.  
Sailor Neptune frowned, pulling up the mirror (i forget what its called; its got some funky name.) As she started to voice her attack, Oshou-sama's reflection was caught on the surface. The mirror summarily cracked. Nepture sweatdropped as Oshou-sama booted her across the planet and into the sky, where she shimmered and vanished with a little "ding."  
Mars and Mercury darted forward, but Oshou-sama stepped aside, letting the two crash into each other. As Jupiter tried her lightning attacks, Oshou-sama pulled forth a giant mirror. The bolt reflected off, hitting Jupiter and sending her flying back.  
Venus snarled, rushing forward with her chain-'o-hearts in her hands, ready to strangle the woman. But Oshou-sama noticed the senshi before any attack was accomplished. She grabbed Sailor Venus by the hair, embracing the girl tight enough to suffocate. "YOU ARE SOOOOO COOOOOOL! SUGOISUGOISUGOISUGOISUGOOOOOOIIIIIII!!!!" Oshou-sama cried, tears of joy falling from behind her dark purple glasses. As she released the Senshi of Love, the girl fell to the ground, smushed.  
Tuxedo Mask sighed. He pulled forth a rose and threw it at Oshou-sama.  
The tip struck the girl in the air, then fell, harmlessly, to the ground. As the three remaining sweatdropped, Oshou-sama laughed loudly. "MY SUPER STEROID STRENGTH HAS DEFEATED YOU!" She finished the comment with another curst of insane laughter. Then, she suddenly stopped. "You know what? Eww!! What kind of cool anime character are you, when all you do is throw roses? What kind of PATHETIC CRAP IS THAT!!!!" She sighed, shaking her head as if ashamed. "Kowai sou...."  
Sailor Chibi Moon ran forward with her little Helios-summoning bell. As she started to ring it, Oshou-sama snatched it out of the girl's hands. "HE'S DEAD YOU MORON!" She smashed it beneath her massive foot. "Oh, and let me tell you something!" she said cockily. "Who the HELL decided to call you MINI MOON! EWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" Chibi Moon screamed as the terrible American name was voiced, and fell to the ground, stunned.  
"Tuxy, c'mere," Oshou-sama said, beckoning for the older boy to come closer. She booted him across the planet and into the sky, where he shimmered and vanished with a little "ding."  
"What are we going to DOOOO?!" Sailor Moon cried. Right on cue, the Three Lights appeared, smiling broadly. Oshou-sama saw the tallest light and screamed, pointing. "EWWW!!! YOU ARE SO UGLY!" She ran up to him/her, booting him/her across the planet and into the sky, where he/she shimmered and vanished with a little "ding."  
The remaining darker haired light, Seiya, stepped forward. As he/she prepared to give a short, annoying, terribly cheesy speech, Oshou-sama pounced on him, a kettle of boiling hot water in her hands. She poured it on the Light, who screamed like a girl, in/appropriately. After the steam vanished, Oshou-sama frowned. "You aren't turning back into a guy." She glanced up, thinking, then shrugged. "Oh well. You aren't cool like Ranma. She picked him up, booting him/her across the planet and into the sky, where he/she shimmered and vanished with a little "ding."  
The remaining senshi sweatdropped. "You're going to kill me, aren't you?" Yaten said, smiling, terrified. The writer suddenly jumped forward, in front of the Light, arms outstretched. "No, Oshou-sama! Don't kill Yaten!" The writer turned, fingering the Light's perfect silver hair. "LOOK! SILVER! SUGOI!"  
Oshou-sama frowned. "He isn't cool. Besides, if he can turn into a girl and a guy, doesn't that mean he's gay, one way or another?"  
The writer sweatdropped and fell to the floor, sobbing. "Why?! WHY?! WHY ME?!"  
Yaten frowned. "I'm not-"  
Oshou-sama drew closer. "I'm sorry. You should come out of the closet sooner or later..." With that, she picked him up, and booted him across the planet and into the sky, where he/she shimmered and vanished with a little "ding."  
Dan-san and Tim-chan came to the writer, still sobbing. Oshou-sama began to flex her steroid-grown muscles, laughing insanely, and the two boys shook their heads. "Typical."  
  
Onegai shimasu, Oshou-sama, don't kill me! 


End file.
